2009 – Week 7

First Things First


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Brad Childress reportedly lectured the Vikings about treating the flight attendants with respect on their way to Pittsburgh this week. He then proceeded to dress himself as one and serve them on the flight. We’re talking heels, skirt, blue nylons and a wig to go with his beard. Yes, the Vikes lost, but they played tough. If your team needs motivation, perhaps you should consider a similar stunt.
Many teams needed no motivation to demolish their opponents this week, while other may go to any lengths to wring the potential out of their lineups at this point. 
In the League of Champions, the top four teams all won. Here are the scores:
The Phantom Limbs (Peter) – 92
Pacifist Assassins (John) – 104

Grandma Nancy (Tyler) – 122
The Alchemists (Chris T.) – 85

Mightiest Muffins (Mike) – 76
Superest Scones (Eric) – 84

The Bone Doctors (Chris W.) – 78
Rusty Shackelford (Aaron) – 46

FAIL Team (Andy) – 96
Russ’ Rowdy Rhinos (Russ) -133

The Tortilla Chips (Darren) – 83
Taking Chances (Wayne) – 116

The Bone Doctors won their second of the season as Rusty Shackelford’s roster sported a number of players still on byes. When pressed, Rusty admitted he was in Europe and wasn’t able to make his moves (although, the Bucs and Pats did play in London on Sunday). He demanded that the Doctors buy him a beer in exchange for a cheapened victory. His demand was met. Elsewhere, John continued his winning ways by edging the Limbs, thanks in large part to Carson Palmer and Ochocinco. Grandma won blah blah blah and Russ exploded for 133 points, negating a big 96 from the still winless FAIL Team. Heartbreaking. The Muffins are reeling after two straight losses and Taking Chances are showing that their waiver buys may be paying off after all.
LoC Standings:
Rank Team W-L-T Pct Pts Streak Waiver Budget Moves
1. Grandma Nancy 6-1-0 .857 760 W-4 $100 6
2. Russ’ Rowdy Rhinos 5-2-0 .714 660 W-2 $55 12
3. Taking Chances 4-2-1 .643 610 W-3 $0 11
4. Pacifist Assassins 4-3-0 .571 662 W-4 $100 6
5. Mightiest Muffins 4-3-0 .571 607 L-2 $60 6
6. The Tortilla Chips 4-3-0 .571 592 L-1 $80 3
7. The Phantom Limbs 3-3-1 .500 615 L-2 $85 7
8. Superest Scones 3-4-0 .429 620 W-1 $48 15
9. Rusty Shackelford 3-4-0 .429 588 L-1 $59 10
10. The Alchemists 3-4-0 .429 559 L-2 $85 6
11. The Bone Doctors 2-5-0 .286 530 W-1 $46 7
12. FAIL Team 0-7-0 .000 495 L-7 $80 4
Taking a cue from the NFL game on Sunday, The Premier League featured four blowout wins, one straight win and one squeaker. Here are the scores:


Monday Night (Phil) – 55

Dead Heads (Nate) – 101

Marshmallow Mateys (Cory) – 105
Kibbles & Vick (Frank) – 69

diddy (Jim) – 123
Beer Boys (Hyatt) – 84

Egon’s Ego (Bernt) – 58
Stalins of Style (Chris A.) – 86

Wyld Stallyns CS (Dave) – 82
Killer Canaries III (Bob) – 122

KRUG Kommanders (Denny & Isaac) – 86
Mighty Nimrods (Tom) – 81
Huge, huge wins for Nate, Cory, Jim and Bob. Merciless, Belichick-style stuff. The Canaries took a tough loss last week at the hands of Kibbles & Vick, placing them in last place. This week, Bob’s flight attendant costume must have done something because he put up diddy-like numbers in shooting down Dave (whose DMV cashier girl outfit must not have instilled much confidence).  After beating diddy last week, Monday Night faced a trap game against the Stalins of Style and laid an egg. Can’t win ’em all, Philly! And the Wonder Twins of Denny and Isaac squeezed by the Nimrods for a nice victory, vaulting them into 4th place overall!
Current Premier League Standings:

Rank Team W-L-T Pct Pts  Streak Waiver Budget Moves
1. diddy 6-1-0 .857  750  W-1 $100 2
2. Marshmallow Mateys 6-1-0 .857  712  W-6 $85 4
3. Kibbles & Vick 5-2-0 .714   660    L-1 $47 25
4. KRUG Kommanders 4-3-0 .571 565 W-1 $92 14
5. Wyld Stallyns CS 4-3-0 .571 565 L-1 $56 19
6. Beer Boys 3-4-0 .429 658 L-2 $90 6
7. Monday Night 3-4-0 .429 593 L-1 $94 5
8. Stalins of Style 3-4-0 .429 563 W-2 $73 10
9. Dead Heads 3-4-0 .429 544 W-1 $84 8
10. Killer Canaries III 2-5-0 .286 551 W-1 $100 4
11. Egon’s Ego 2-5-0 .286 536 L-2 $86 6
12. Mighty Nimrods 1-6-0 .143 531 L-1 $13 12

Team of the Week
The KRUG Kommanders! While many teams enjoyed walkover victories, the KRUGs played tough-guy fantasy football and beat the Nimrods by only 5 points. That gutty performance deserves recognition. Well done, Wonder Twins!

Housekeeping
Season-ending injuries and benchings were in vogue this weekend, so the big question is: How’s Your Roster Holding Up? Who’s buying the Alex Smith hype and who’s willing to shell out big bucks for Shonn Greene? Who’s willing to settle for Ahman Green??! Here are the bye teams for the week (hint: 3 matter and 3 don’t): Cincinnati, Kansas City, New England, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay and Washington. 

Until Next Week,

Commish Peter

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