2010 – Week 4

First Things First


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“Hopefully the car radio will have the game on”? Just a friendly reminder that it is possible to put too much of a priority on football. If your dog bites your kids neck, feel free to leave without posting about it in your smack talk box first.
This ended up being a tricky week for a lot of people. It was the first bye week to deal with, plus a number of big names were slated to be game time decisions. Many people realized too late that their player was sitting out. Andre Johnson didn’t play, Pierre Thomas didn’t play, Ray Rice was limited, Mike Vick got hurt, Austin Collie gave a scare but played, the list goes on and on. So some people had to compete with less than a full team. Then there were the Jay Cutler owners who though they put a QB in, but were sorely disappointed:
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Ouch! 9 sacks in the first half!? And a concussion to boot? A whopping -2 points!? Could any Culter owners hope to get a win this week after that performance?
League of Champions
The LoC had two undefeated teams remaining going into this weekend. Only one would stay that way. Two teams were winless. Only one would stay that way. Here are the scores:
The Phantom Limbs (Peter) – 78
we’re coming (Wayne) – 61
Russ’ Rhino Revenge (Russ) – 88
Wyld Stallyns (Dave) – 82
Super-lative Muffins (Mike) – 92
KRUG Kommander (Denny) – 89
Nana Nancy Unit (Tyler) – 77
Beer Boys (Hyatt) – 101
diddy (Jim) – 95
Reckless Abandon (Darren) – 66
Marshmallow Mateys (Cory) – 92
OMG Ponies!!!! (Nate) – 55
Indeed, your Commissioner held onto his undefeated status in taking down we’re coming. The other undefeated team, KRUG, thought he lucked out when the Muffins left Andre Johnson in the lineup and put Jay Cutler in at QB, but he was trailing going into Monday Night. Sadly, he was narrowly edged out by the Muffins after Randy Moss had zero catches in the game! What a way to lose! The Muffins move to 2-2 and have had 416 points scored against them so far. Russ was able to keep the Stallyns winless in another close game. Dave is now 0-3-1 despite having scored more points than both 3-1 teams. Beer Boys bounced back from a tough start with their first win (putting up a studly 101 points). diddy has won 2 in a row now after beating Reckless handily. And the Ponies found points hard to come by in losing to the Mateys. 
LoC Standings:

Rank Team W-L-T Pct Pts For Pts Against Streak Waiver Budget Moves
1. The Phantom Limbs 4-0-0 1.000 388 333 W-4 $73 3
2. KRUG Kommander 3-1-0 .750 357 301 L-1 $80 4
3. Marshmallow Mateys 3-1-0 .750 347 291 W-1 $90 4
4. Super-lative Muffins 2-2-0 .500 406 416 W-1 $95 7
5. Russ’ Rhino Revenge 2-2-0 .500 343 351 W-2 $58 8
6. Nana Nancy Unit 2-2-0 .500 329 359 L-1 $55 2
7. Reckless Abandon 2-2-0 .500 321 353 L-2 $99 1
8. diddy 2-2-0 .500 288 278 W-2 $100 2
9. Beer Boys 1-2-1 .375 372 408 W-1 $99 2
10. we’re coming! 1-3-0 .250 299 317 L-1 $100
11. OMG Ponies!!!!! 1-3-0 .250 299 318 L-3 $91 5
12. Wyld Stallyns 0-3-1 .125 362 386 L-2 $54 6


Premier League
The PL was crazy this week with lots of close games, a shootout and even a tie! There was one undefeated team left going into the weekend and two winless teams. When the dust settled, there was a three way tie for first place. The scores:
Carl’s Moustache (Aaron) – 61
The Cutlass Cieras (Chris W.) – 57
Monday Night (Phil) – 79
Blackhearts (Jon) – 70
Careless Blimpists (Chris A.) – 71
quitters (Tom) – 71
Zack Attack (Bernt) – 50
Pacifist Assassins (John) – 94
Nerd Herd (Bob) – 56
The Alchemist (Chris T.) – 74
Fumblecopter (Andy) – 117
Tony Danza Dominates (Eric) – 130
Tony Danza indeed dominated this week, putting up 130 points (thank you Antonio Gates)! A crushing loss for Fumblecopter who caught the wrong team on the wrong week. Blackhearts were knocked out of the top spot by Monday Night (who overcame Cutler’s ineptitude with Tomlinson’s spry brilliance). Welcome back to the pack, Rookie! The new top team is Carl’s Moustache, who narrowly edged out the Cieras by 4! quitters had a good chance to get their first win this week AND beat a really good team to do it. Unfortunately, the law firm of BenJarvis Green-Ellis couldn’t get ONE MORE POINT on Monday night and the game ended in a tie. Unbelievable. But it’s a step in the right direction, Tom. The Assassins notched their first win (despite having Andre Johnson in at flex) by handily beating Zack Attack (who got bit by Moss’ bad game and got zero from Sims-Walker). Finally, The Alchemist beat up on the Nerd Herd.
PL Standings:

Rank Team W-L-T Pct Pts For Pts Against Streak Waiver Budget Moves
1. Carl’s Moustache 3-1-0 .750 380 296 W-3 $80 2
2. Blackhearts 3-1-0 .750 362 332 L-1 $99 1
3. The Alchemist 3-1-0 .750 321 277 W-2 $100 2
4. Careless Blimpists 2-1-1 .625 373 357 T-1 $97 2
5. Tony Danza Dominates 2-2-0 .500 406 381 W-1 $81 5
6. Fumblecopter 2-2-0 .500 357 340 L-1 $82 4
7. Monday Night 2-2-0 .500 327 292 W-1 $100 1
8. The Cutlass Cieras 2-2-0 .500 317 302 L-1 $90 3
9. Nerd Herd 2-2-0 .500 266 279 L-1 $54 5
10. Pacifist Assassins 1-3-0 .250 315 423 W-1 $85 8
11. Zack Attack 1-3-0 .250 301 364 L-3 $100 1
12. quitters 0-3-1 .125 251 333 T-1 $56 7


Both Cutler owners escaped with wins! Crazy.
So after four weeks of play, the NFL has only one undefeated team (the KC Chiefs) and Hiawatha FFL has only one undefeated team (The Phantom Limbs). Parity rules!

Team of the Week
tony-danza.jpgTony Danza Dominates! TDD scored 131 this week and is tied for the most points so far this year in Hiawatha FFL with the Muffins at 406. Interestingly, both of those teams are only 2-2 on the year. TDD’s roster looks stout though, featuring MJD, Antonio Gates and Calvin Miller …. er… I mean Johnson. 


Housekeeping
The bye weeks continue! Here are the teams sitting out this week: Miami, New England, Pittsburgh and Seattle. There are definitely some heavy hitters in there, so make sure you’re not left out in the cold on Sunday!
In Conclusion

Some of you may have decided to skip football this week (since the Vikes were on a bye) and watch golf instead. If you did, maybe you saw Tiger hit a camera with an errant chip shot resulting in this incredible pic. But did you see the amazing crowd member behind him? Carl’s Moustache should be proud!

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Until Next Week,
Commish Peter

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