2010 – Week 13

First Things First


Things are getting rough as teams push for their playoff spots. Favre took a vicious hit and left the game in T-Jacks semi-capable hands, but it was Big Ben who won the tough guy award. 3 minutes into his Sunday night game, Ben took a hit that broke and bloodied his nose! Of course, he came back in and engineered a win in the closing minutes. Now he’ll have surgery to straighten that nose out. Ouch!
There were rivalries all over the place this week. The Steelers and Ravens, the Pats and Jets, the Chargers and Raiders, the Muffins and Limbs, the Assassins and Cieras. It was amazing. Now the regular fantasy season is over and it’s time for the teams to start playing for keeps. If this weekend was any indicator, the level of competition has never been higher among the Hiawatha leagues. The playoffs begin next week! And so does the Toilet Bowl! If your team is sitting in the bowl this year, remember you’re playing for a real prize this year – not like last year’s prize: 
Now buckle up, this is a big one!
Let’s take a look at how the regular season concluded.

League of Champions
Improbably, the top two teams in each league played each other to finish the season. In the LoC, it was the Limbs and the Muffins. This game was hyped so much that smack talking on the matchup page actually began almost a month ago! Who prevailed? Who do you think? Scores:
The Phantom Limbs (Peter) – 118
Super-lative Muffins (Mike) – 80
Russ’ Rhino Revenge (Russ) – 80
KRUG Kommander (Denny) – 97
Wyld Stallyns (Dave) – 98
Beer Boys (Hyatt) – 96
we’re coming! (Wayne) – 112
Reckless Abandon (Darren) – 56
Nana Nancy Unit (Tyler) – 60
OMG Ponies!!!! (Nate) – 50
diddy (Jim) – 75
Marshmallow Mateys (Cory) – 111
The Limbs, in a statement game, proved that they are indeed the team to beat in the LoC by clobbering the Muffins by 38 points! The Limbs had the #1 seed all but locked up anyway, so this game meant more for the Muffins, whose loss drops them from the 2 to the 4 seed! Ouch! Your #2 seed now goes to Nana Nancy! Nancy won her last 5 games to grab a playoff bye! Your #3 seed is the Mateys, who demolished last place diddy. Russ’ Rhinos couldn’t stave off KRUG this week, but they still back into the playoffs by virtue of their 1200 total points. Out in the cold at 6-7: KRUG and Ponies (who lost to Nana this week). The Stallyns and Beer Boys battled in a close matchup this week with the Stallyns prevailing by 2 (these two teams tied in their first meeting this year). And in a game of Toilet Bowl-bound teams, we’re coming destroyed Reckless – doubling his score even. In a crazy twist, these two teams will play again in the first round of the Toilet Bowl next week!
So, here are your final regular season standings for the LoC:

Rank Team W-L-T Pct Pts For Pts Against Streak Waiver Budget Moves
*1. The Phantom Limbs 10-3-0 .769 1340 1178 W-1 $7 17
*2. Nana Nancy Unit 9-4-0 .692 1153 1036 W-5 $54 7
*3. Marshmallow Mateys 9-4-0 .692 1083 1002 W-1 $30 20
*4. Super-lative Muffins 8-5-0 .615 1255 1193 L-1 $17 38
*5. Wyld Stallyns 7-5-1 .577 1256 1122 W-1 $15 20
*6. Russ’ Rhino Revenge 6-7-0 .462 1200 1140 L-1 $1 20
7. KRUG Kommander 6-7-0 .462 1078 1053 W-2 $34 25
8. OMG Ponies!!!!! 6-7-0 .462 1069 1100 L-1 $56 14
9. Beer Boys 5-7-1 .423 1177 1245 L-2 $79 11
10. we’re coming! 4-9-0 .308 1019 1097 W-1 $45 15
11. Reckless Abandon 4-9-0 .308 969 1212 L-1 $50 9
12. diddy 3-10-0 .231 950 1171 L-3 $35 8

Loc Playoff Bracket:
LoC Playoffs.JPG
The loser of the 5th place game is demoted!
LoC Toilet Bowl Bracket:
LoC Toilet.JPG
The winner of the 7th place game is promoted!
Premier League
The PL playoff teams were already set last week, so this week was all about seeds and statements. The top two teams played each other for the #1 seed and Fumblecopter had a chance to grab a bye. Here’s how the drama played out:
Carl’s Moustache (Aaron) – 70
quitters (Tom) – 81
Monday Night (Phil) – 67
Careless Blimpists (Chris A.) – 96
The Cutlass Cieras (Chris W.) – 93
Pacifist Assassins (John) – 124
Blackhearts (Jon) – 57
The Alchemist (Chris T.) – 38
Zack Attack (Bernt) – 67
Tony Danza Dominates (Eric) – 97
Nerd Herd (Bob) – 90
Fumblecopter (Andy) – 72
So the Assassins finish their regular season on a 10 game winning streak, beating their rival Cieras. An incredible run by John’s team! Though they lost, the Cieras keep the #2 seed by virtue of Fumblecopter losing the the lowly Nerd Herd! Three teams finished 8-5, but Fumblecopter has the most points in the league and sit atop those three teams. Tony Danza takes the 4 seed by beating Zack Attack by 30. The 5 seed is the once-powerful Carl’s Moustache, who have lost their last 3 games. This week they lost to the once-toothless quitters, who finish the regular season in 7th place! The Blimpists are a dangerous team in the 6th spot. Their road to the Super Bowl will be difficult, but don’t sleep on this talented team. They beat Monday Night this week in a tune up for taking on Fumblecopter next week. What can I say about The Alchemist? His tough season can be summed up by the fact that he started Brett Favre this week, who got knocked out early and threw a pick in the process. But, he’s still alive in the Toilet Bowl!
Final regular season standings in the PL:

Rank Team W-L-T Pct Pts For Pts Against Streak Waiver Budget Moves
*1. Pacifist Assassins 10-3-0 .769 1289 1087 W-10 $10 26
*2. The Cutlass Cieras 9-4-0 .692 1266 1101 L-1 $42 13
*3. Fumblecopter 8-5-0 .615 1295 1124 L-1 $53 13
*4. Tony Danza Dominates 8-5-0 .615 1261 1167 W-2 $61 24
*5. Carl’s Moustache 8-5-0 .615 1078 995 L-3 $54 12
*6. Careless Blimpists 7-5-1 .577 1280 1176 W-1 $80 11
7. quitters 5-7-1 .423 1057 1096 W-1 $53 28
8. Blackhearts 5-7-1 .423 982 1080 W-1 $94 14
9. Monday Night 5-8-0 .385 1025 1152 L-1 $100 2
10. Nerd Herd 5-8-0 .385 958 1023 W-2 $53 10
11. Zack Attack 3-9-1 .269 984 1161 L-2 $93 5
12. The Alchemist 3-10-0 .231 847 1160 L-9 $93 5

PL Playoff Bracket:
PL Playoffs.JPG
The loser of the 5th place game is demoted!
PL Toilet Bowl:
PL Toilet.JPG
The winner of the 7th place game is promoted!
It looks like the Limbs and Assassins are the teams to beat in their respective leagues. It just seems like they have so many weapons!
Team of the Week
I’m going outside the box and giving this award to The Alchemist! Mr. T’s team finished the regular season at 3-10, lost their final 9 games and scored 847 total points while giving up 1160 points (more than the Assassins gave up). It’s been a tough year. But maybe this award will lift the teams spirits. And remember, everyone’s alive to make it to the upper league next year! The Alchemist can win the PL Toilet Bowl!


Eight teams have byes this week, four in each league. If you’re one of them, enjoy your week off, but don’t forget to smack talk your potential opponents to soften them up. There’s another Thursday game this week: Colts vs. Titans, but if you’re counting on Peyton Manning at this point, you might be in trouble. 

And once more because I can’t stop myself:
Until Next Week,
Commish Peter

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