First Things First
Unlike last week, this week saw every fantasy team playing for something. But for many teams, this was the final week of their fantasy football season. For some, they ended with a win. For others, it was a heartbreaking loss. Everyone handles failure in different ways.
There’s misdirected anger:
And then there’s “The Manning Face”:
But really, there’s always next year!
Now, for other teams, the season goes on! Here we are in Super Bowl week! Four lucky teams are vying for two Championships and four lucky teams are vying for a Golden Ticket out of the Toilet Bowl into the winner’s league next season!
Let’s break it down for you.
League of Champions
Last week the Stallyns looked like they could be the one team that had the talent to take down the Phantom Limbs while the 2 and 3 seeds would meet on the other side of the bracket. And the Muffins and Rhinos were duking it out in desperation for the right to stay in the winner’s league next year. Here’s how it went down.
LoC Playoff Scores:
The Phantom Limbs (Peter) – 125
Wyld Stallyns (Dave) – 81
Marshmallow Mateys (Cory) – 64
Nana Nancy Unit (Tyler) – 98
Super-lative Muffins (Mike) – 85
Russ’ Rhino Revenge (Russ) – 78
So the Stallyns couldn’t produce a repeat performance of last week and fell hard to the still-strong Limbs (Vick + Ray Rice = 74 points). Things looked dicey after Rivers put up 22 points for Dave on Thursday, but Sunday’s games didn’t deliver the points and the Stallyns will play for 3rd next week. Nana Nancy looked strong as well, downing the Mateys by 34 (led by Brees and the Bears D). Tyler’s magical run continues and he will face the Limbs next week for the Championship! And in the closest playoff game, the Muffins salvaged a rough post-season by beating the Rhinos by 7 to hold onto a winner’s league spot next year. The Rhinos season ends in disappointing fashion after they looked like a potential contender late in the regular season. They will mix it up in the lower league next year after finishing in 6th place.
LoC Playoff Bracket:
In the LoC Toilet Bowl, things were still pretty chalky this week with higher seeds showing they deserved it.
LoC Toilet Bowl Scores:
KRUG Kommander (Denny) – 93
we’re coming! (Wayne) – 59
Beer Boys (Hyatt) – 84
OMG Ponies!!! (Nate) – 91
Reckless Abandon (Darren) – 59
diddy (Jim) – 47
KRUG comes out of his bye and scores 93 to rough up we’re coming and advance to the Toilet Super Bowl! KRUG was a strong team early in the regular season but had a prolonged slump that landed him in the Toilet Bowl, but now he may just climb back out for next year! Joining KRUG in the TSB will be OMG Ponies!!!, who edged out the strong Beer Boys. The Ponies were also on the cusp of making the playoffs but couldn’t quite make it. Now KRUG and the Ponies have a chance to redeem themselves, but only one will live to play in the upper league next year! We’ll find out next week! In the game to decide 11th place overall, it was a low scoring slugfest as Reckless’s 59 points were enough to beat diddy’s 47. This was a rough season for them, but Jim and Darren will take this rivalry to the lower league next year and, who knows, maybe contend for a title there.
LoC Toilet Bowl Bracket:
So next week, it’s the Unit vs the Limbs for the title and KRUG vs Ponies!!! for a golden ticket!
The 1 and 2 seeds will meet for the title in the LoC, but what will happen in the PL? How will the teams with byes fare in their returns to action? And who will win the first golden ticket out of the lower league? And do we have a Cinderella in the PL this year?!?!
PL Playoff Scores:
Pacifist Assassins (John) – 103
Tony Danza Dominates (Eric) – 75
Fumblecopter (Andy) – 106
The Cutlass Cieras (Chris W.) – 100
Carl’s Moustache (Aaron) – 89
Careless Blimpists (Chris A.) – 82
The Assassins were unaffected by a week off and punched out Tony Danza
to reach the PL Super Bowl! Matt Ryan and Jamaal Charles have been key for John’s squad this year and this week. On the other side of the bracket, it was an amazing matchup between Fumblecopter and the Cieras, but Fumblecopter pulled off a 6 point win (beating Vick, which is hard to do). Fumblecopter used decent performances from each lineup slot to reach the PL Super Bowl. This sets up an epic final game between the top two scoring teams in the PL! In the game for 5th place, Carl’s Moustache punched his Golden Ticket and the Careless Blimpists lived up to their name. A pre-season favorite, the Blimpists couldn’t live up to the hype (*coughvikingscough*) and will stay in the lower league next year. Meanwhile, Carl’s Moustache’s success seems hard to explain. This week he had two players score zero, he fielded the Raiders D and his QB was Jon Kitna. But no one ever said wins had to be pretty. Well done, Aaron!
PL Playoff Bracket:
Perhaps the site of the most desperate games was the PL Toilet Bowl. These teams are fighting for their lives every week. Win out and you get a Golden Ticket. Lose one and you’re stuck in the lower league again next year.
PL Toilet Bowl Scores:
quitters (Tom) – 64
Zack Attack (Bernt) – 88
Monday Night (Phil) – 102
Blackhearts (Jon) – 79
Nerd Herd (Bob) – 77
The Alchemist (Chris T.) – 54
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a Cinderella in the Toilet Bowl! Zack Attack, the 11th seed overall, has beaten the 7 seed and advanced to the Toilet Super Bowl. Bernt’s team went 3-9-1 in the regular season, but have flipped the switch and are making a real run for a Golden Ticket. This week they used Big Ben, Stephen Jackson and Robbie Gould to get by quitters. They will have their hands full next week when they face Monday Night, who put up 102 (thank you Ray Rice) to knock off the Blackhearts. Phil pulled the gambit of putting Joe Webb into his lineup at WR (thanks to Yahoo’s positional decision), but he didn’t even need the 12 points Webb got him. Blackhearts first year in the league was a fairly successful one and he’ll have a chance to rip up the lower league again next year. In the game for 11th place, the Nerd Herd got the win and the title of “Not Last Place”. The Alchemist is left wondering what would have happened if he had been able to draft his own team. Tough season, Mr. Thompson.
PL Toilet Bowl Bracket:
So that means that Fumblecopter and the Pacifist Assassins will collide for a sure shootout Super Bowl next week. Meanwhile, Monday Night and Zack Attack will face off with a Golden Ticket on the line! Exciting stuff!
Team of the Week
Zack Attack! The thought of a 3-9-1, #11 seed team having a shot at punching a Golden Ticket is so amazing! It’s a bona fide Cinderella story! Go Bernt, Go!
This is the final week of the Fantasy season! It’s also the week of Christmas and traveling. So for the teams that still have something to play for, you can’t afford to space out on your lineup this week. Plus, we’ve got a Thursday game AND a Saturday game to deal with. The Panthers and Steelers play Thursday and Saturday brings us the Cowboys and the Cardinals. So before you hit the road, make sure you have your lineup in place or internet access to tweak things. You don’t want to be the team that lost because their parents’ house only has dial-up and their RB torqued a hammy in warmups. This is for all the marbles!
And finally, if this was your last week playing, thanks for a great season. I hope you ended it in a way you were happy with.
Until Next Week,