2011 – Week 5

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It was a wild weekend in the NFL. It began with the news that the Emperor of the Raiders had passed away. 
Though Al Davis had his share of enemies, the people in his inner circle apparently loved the man. And the Raiders went out on Sunday and showed their respect by winning one for the Boss. By all accounts, Davis got kicks from being the malcontent among the owners – always criticizing the league and the officials. 
Of course, sometimes the officials deserve some needling. This is my favorite video from the weekend. The Titans, trailing the Steelers by a wide margin, try and onside kick. The rest is just priceless:
In the Hiawatha Leagues, the first week of byes didn’t slow down the big dogs. But the bottom teams seemed to get hit hard. The rich get richer….

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The biggest game in the LoC this week was between two powerhouse teams and it did not disappoint. Here are your scores:
The Phantom Limbs (Peter) – 102
vow of silence (Aaron) – 86
JAWS (Dave) – 102
Monday Night (Phil) – 80
Marshmallow Mateys (Cory) – 125
Pacifist Assassins (John) – 50
The Cutlass Cieras (Chris W.) – 121
KRUG Kommandant (Denny) – 75
Fumblecopter (Andy) – 106
Nana Nancy Unit (Tyler) – 104
The Almighty Muffins (Mike) – 56
Mr T Fool! (Eric) – 78
Going into Monday night, the score was 82-92 with Fumblecopter in the lead. Andy had Forte and Ty had Calvin Johnson. At halftime of the MNF game, Ty was in the lead. By the end, Forte had pulled Andy back up and he held on to win by 2, remain unbeaten and slap poor Nana in the mouth. What a gem of a game! The rest of the games in the LoC were pretty low on the drama scale. The Mateys absolutely CRUSHED the Assassins this week with double digits from all but one roster spot. The Cieras SKIDDED over the Kommandant with huge RB numbers. JAWS DEVOURED Monday Night thanks in part to New England’s Law Firm. Aaron’s team finally has a name, but it did them no good as the Limbs got their 3rd straight win behind the SF DEF. And Mr. T only put up 78 points, but the Muffins didn’t look too mighty this week as they could only muster 56. Advantage: T. 
Current LoC Standings: 

Rank Team W-L-T Pct Pts For Pts Against Streak Waiver Budget Moves
1. Fumblecopter 5-0-0 1.000 592 498 W-5 $100 2
2. J.A.W.S. 4-1-0 .800 517 445 W-2 $39 11
3. Marshmallow Mateys 4-1-0 .800 481 379 W-1 $93 3
4. Mr T Fool! 3-2-0 .600 485 458 W-2 $87 6
5. The Phantom Limbs 3-2-0 .600 471 441 W-3 $85 7
6. KRUG Kommandant 3-2-0 .600 454 430 L-1 $100 4
7. Nana Nancy Unit 2-2-1 .500 557 517 L-1 $100
8. The Cutlass Cieras 2-3-0 .400 504 504 W-1 $100 1
9. Monday Night 1-3-1 .300 434 465 L-3 $100 5
10. The Almighty Muffins 1-4-0 .200 441 503 L-3 $85 15
11. Pacifist Assassins 1-4-0 .200 407 536 L-4 $92 6
12. vow of silence 0-5-0 .000 403 570 L-5 $100 2

It still boggles the mind how Cory’s defense has only allowed 379 points against him so far this year. The next closest is 430 by KRUG. Amazing.  

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Things were slightly less lopsided in the PL this week, but the power teams are still flexing their muscles. But one team is now 2 games up in the standings. Who could it be? Here are the scores: 
Mean Regressors (Chris A.) – 44
Blackhearts (Jon) – 88
sasquatches r real! (Darren) – 65
The Russell (Russell) – 97
Waffle Housers (Nate) – 112
Nerd Herd (Bob) – 79
McChamps (Tom) – 87
The Alchemist (Chris T.) – 104
Glass Joe (Bernt) – 88
Beer Boys (Hyatt) – 103
a couple 13 14 wins (Wayne) – 84
diddy (Jim) – 92
It looked like an even match, but one team was clearly better. In what could easily be a Super Bowl preview, the Alchemist remained unbeaten over the McChamps. What’s especially concerning for the rest of the league is that the Alchemist got zero points from TWO roster spots this week and still put up 104 points. Of course, the McChamps also got zero from TWO roster spots and put up 87. The playoffs are definitely going to be interesting this year. Elsewhere, the Blackhearts doubled up the Mean Regressors, dropping them to the bottom of the league. Ouch. It was a close one between diddy and couple 13 14, but diddy pulled out a win on Monday night thanks to Javid Best. Glass Joe was threatening the Beer Boys, but Hyatt’s team comes out on top by virtue of Fred Jackson’s continued dominance. The Russell is definitely an elite team and proved it by beating up on the sasquatches (just like Russ does in real life). The Waffle Housers were the week’s highest scoring team and crushed the Nerd Herd by a wide margin. So that means…. the standings are bonkers:
Current PL Standings: 

Rank Team W-L-T Pct Pts For Pts Against Streak Waiver Budget Moves
1. The Alchemist 5-0-0 1.000 557 444 W-5 $76 5
2. The Russell 3-2-0 .600 563 452 W-1 $68 16
3. Beer Boys 3-2-0 .600 500 490 W-2 $97 3
4. Waffle Housers 3-2-0 .600 495 496 W-2 $44 4
5. McChamps 3-2-0 .600 481 468 L-2 $98 6
6. Blackhearts 3-2-0 .600 439 398 W-1 $97 5
7. sasquatches r real! 3-2-0 .600 434 399 L-1 $100 2
8. a couple 13 14 wins 2-3-0 .400 449 512 L-1 $100 2
9. diddy 2-3-0 .400 443 456 W-1 $100
10. Glass Joe 1-4-0 .200 469 544 L-2 $100 1
11. Nerd Herd 1-4-0 .200 410 490 L-1 $100 4
12. Mean Regressors 1-4-0 .200 398 489 L-2 $88 9

Yes, SIX TEAMS ARE 3-2. The Alchemist is riding high at 5-0, two games up. This week he gets Glass Joe, who’s given up 544 on the year. Uh oh. 

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Sometimes it’s hard to keep track of team names because they may change from week to week based on matchups or whimsy. But a good name is a good name. That’s why this week the HFFUBTotW award is going to Mean Regressors! This week, they lived up to their given name by scoring a meager 44 points. Bye weeks, injury, inexplicable underperformance, you name it and they had it this week. But even the Dream Team Eagles are 1-4 on the year! A turnaround isn’t out of the question! I think this is a team that is poised to hit the gas pedal at just the right time! You don’t want to do it too soon anyway!

More byes this week! Here’s who will be playing XBox next Sunday: Denver, Tennessee, Kansas City, Arizona, San Diego and Seattle. Not too many heavy hitters in there, but plenty of rosters will need tweaking. Which is why some teams may need to make moves or *gasp!* trades!?! So far, no trades have gone through in either league.
Also, it’s becoming clear that someone needs to put a good hit on the Alchemist and Fumblecopter. Can anyone take advantage of the bye weeks to hand one of these teams an L? One thing’s clear, the targets on the backs of these two teams grow bigger every week. 
Until Next Week,
Commish Peter 

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