2013 – Week 5

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The Vikings were on a bye this week, but that doesn’t mean that they couldn’t polarize their fans with their QB situation! Yes, the Vikes have acquired beleaguered QB Josh Freeman. What does it all mean? Maybe The Onion says it best. 
In actual football games this weekend, we saw the Broncos ALMOST get beat by a fired up Tony Romo. Unfortunately, Romo has agreed to always make a critical error late in any game that’s important. Here, he threw a pick with only minutes left, setting up the Broncos for the winning FG. Peyton remains undefeated and continues to make a mockery of the league… and now the TV camera guys too!
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Seriously, he’s running in TDs now too!? Of course, you don’t see Peyton doing any silly dances after his TDs. He leaves that to the young guys who have perfected the art. 
David “Fumble Machine” Wilson finally got in the endzone and didn’t miss his the opportunity to show off: 
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David Wilson owners hope he’s working on ball security HALF as much as he’s working on TD celebrations for the 0-5 Giants. 
Then you had Packer James Jones and his…I have no idea: 
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The Packers got the win and the NFC North is officially up for grabs! 
Let’s dive into the fantasy games, shall we? Plenty of teams are starting to treat their games as MUST WINS and the bye weeks are only going to make it tougher. Only the strong will survive and avoid the dreaded Toilet Bowl bracket!
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The LoC is still a tale of two teams and then the rest of the field. But we’ve got a creeper team sneaking up on the top. Here are the scores:
Final Results
Yes, the Mike and Russ kept on rolling. Things are getting so that the rest of the league is nervously looking ahead at the schedules for these two teams and it has been identified that when the two undefeated teams play it will be week 9. That also happens to be the bye week for most of Mike’s stud players. Will Russ lose before then?! He’s got a chance next week as he plays the suddenly hot DiDDy squad! Jim’s team has won 3 in a row after starting 0-2. This week, he sneaked by Randy Ableman by only 2 points to keep the streak alive! The Limbs are reeling right now, losing their 4th straight game at the hands of Unstoppable. The Limbs have the 3rd highest point total in the LoC, but are the 3rd worst record wise. 
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Current LoC standings: 
Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Bdgt Waiver Moves
1 avatar The Day Old Muffins 5-0-0 628 472 W-5 $76 9 8
2 avatar Rüssnôçérôse 5-0-0 515 357 W-5 $63 4 5
3 avatar DiDDy 3-2-0 506 525 W-3 $100 1 1
4 avatar Unstoppable 3-2-0 456 459 W-1 $78 6 29
5 avatar Monday Night 3-2-0 448 463 W-1 $79 12 4
6 avatar Blitzkrieg Bops 2-3-0 447 504 W-2 $46 10 9
7 avatar Pacifist Assassins 2-3-0 446 484 L-2 $80 8 10
8 avatar Nana Nancy 2-3-0 413 447 L-1 $94 7 6
9 avatar KRUG Kaiser 2-3-0 389 418 L-1 $100 2 1
10 avatar The Phantom Limbs 1-4-0 478 499 L-4 $62 11 13
11 avatar Freemium Masons 1-4-0 415 452 L-4 $90 3 9
12 avatar Randy Ableman 1-4-0 389 450 L-2 $99 5 5
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The PL also has a top tier of teams, but their top tier is a little bit crowded. And they also have a streaking team trying to claw their way to the top. Here are the scores: 
Final Results

Yes, the Furballs and the Eh Team won handily and kept their holds on the top spots in the standings, but look at Wayne’s team. They have now won 4 in a row and climbed all the way to the 3rd spot in the rankings after destroying Carl’s team. On the flip side, tumbling down the standings over the last month has been Jake’s Notorious Outlaws. After a dominating performance in week 1, the ball has not bounced Jake’s way since. They have lost 4 straight and sit in 10th place. Bret Hassler had a good weekend. Not only did he run a marathon, but he grabbed a narrow win against the Moneyballers! And The Curse strikes again! The Chobani Champions, winners of the HFFUBTotW award last week, could only muster 58 points in a rough loss against Matt’s team. Sorry, Cory. We really thought last week was the start of something special. 
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Current PL Standings: 
Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Bdgt Waiver Moves
1 avatar St Paul Furballs 4-1-0 571 413 W-1 $45 12 6
2 avatar The Eh Team 4-1-0 523 419 W-2 $100 11 2
3 avatar Wayne Thompson 4-1-0 498 407 W-4 $20 10 6
4 avatar Double Dream Hands 3-2-0 461 472 L-1 $91 9 2
5 avatar Carl’s Champion Team 3-2-0 461 463 L-1 $100 8
6 avatar The Cutlass Cieras 3-2-0 456 434 L-2 $76 7 3
7 avatar Missing the USFL 2-3-0 466 463 W-2 $40 6 6
8 avatar Big Hassle 2-3-0 459 515 W-1 $100 5 2
9 avatar The Dominators 2-3-0 399 482 W-1 $99 4 1
10 avatar Notorious Outlaws 1-4-0 491 539 L-4 $90 3 13
11 avatar ShidabisMoneyballers 1-4-0 439 534 L-4 $100 2
12 avatar Chobani Champions 1-4-0 395 478 L-1 $85 1 5

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When we last left the EL, there was one team alone at the top of the standings: Brett’s Team. Was this the week that he finally fell? Scores: 
Final Results

Nope! Brett only scored 77, but his scoring hasn’t been the reason for his hot streak. It’s been his defense! Teams are only scoring an average of 83.6 points against him this season! This week, it would have been enough to win, but Brett held Fumblecopter to only 68 and snagged his 5th win! Unbelievable. But we all know the adage: Defense Wins Championships. Team Pacino might want to remember that one. He gave up 103 to the previously winless Ivan Drago and lost! Bernt finally wins his first game of the year and against a strong opponent. Could this mean…we’ll get to that later. Elsewhere, the Longfellow Bulldogs needed some Monday Night heroics to get the win against the Goldfinches in a hotly contested game. Chad’s Sunday Shame, coming off their first loss last week (Curse?), played with a chip on their shoulder and destroyed Harper’s team. And finally, you’ve got H-Ike’s Daddy: the last remaining winless team in the HFFL Universe. Bradley was leading by 17 going into Monday Night Football, but Jon’s team scored 26 and stole the win. That’s gotta hurt. 
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Current EL Standings: 
Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Moves
1 avatar brett’s Team 5-0-0 473 418 W-5 12 1
2 avatar Chad’s Sunday Shame 4-1-0 501 415 W-1 11 5
3 avatar Longfellow Bulldogs 3-2-0 555 489 W-1 10 4
4 avatar Team Pacino 3-2-0 549 516 L-1 9 3
5 avatar Hiawatha Goldfinches 3-2-0 491 485 L-1 8 25
6 avatar Nerd Herd 3-2-0 481 477 W-1 7 4
7 avatar Fumblecopter 3-2-0 409 397 L-1 6 2
8 avatar Nudibranch 2-3-0 467 504 W-2 5 7
9 avatar Los Perdedores! 2-3-0 408 433 L-1 4 8
10 avatar Ivan Drago 1-4-0 439 476 W-1 3 2
11 avatar Harper’s Team 1-4-0 432 503 L-3 2 6
12 avatar H-Ike’s Daddy 0-5-0 438 530 L-5 1 2

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Ivan Drago! It took until week 5, but Bernt’s team is finally in the W column! And in fact, he did it by beating a very tough Team Pacino who had been the highest scoring team in the league! Bernt was the recipient of the Tony Romo explosion and has to be hoping that Romo can recapture that magic next week when he plays another tough beat: the Hiawatha Goldfinches. Congrats, Bernt!
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Plenty of implications from the Thursday night game this week: Giants vs. Bears. And only 2 bye week teams this week: Atlanta and Miami (both of whom could really use a week to do some soul-searching). What’s going on with the Falcons?!?!
I should remind you all that the trade deadline is just over a month away now, so you’ve got a few more weeks to overhaul your roster through trades. After that, it’s waiver wire only through the playoffs. 
Until Next Week,
Commish Peter

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