2014 – Week 2

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The NFL has probably had the worst PR week in the history of the league. With the Ray Rice saga not going away and now Adrian Peterson being indicted, the hope was that compelling games on Sunday may help ease attention away from the courtroom of public opinion and back to the field of play itself. That’s where the attention of this column will focus. 

If last week was all about putting “foot” back in football, this week made a compelling case that it sure pays to have sure hands too. Wide receivers all over the country aimed to show that the game is still a passing game in this era by making ridiculous circus catches with one hand tied behind their backs. Here are a few:

Brandon Marshall:

Anthony Fasano:

Reuben Randle: 

Mike Wallace:

Even JJ Watt decided that playing defense for the Texans wasn’t enough and lined up as a TE on the goal line. The result?

Still, you have to hand it to the Oakland Raiders. They really are trying, aren’t they. Aren’t they!?

Two fumbles on the same play. That’s pretty impressive. Of course, Sunday was also riddled with injuries as many notable players were forced from their games and given long timetables for return. And now fantasy owners are, once again, scrambling for the waiver wires looking for help to fill their suddenly shaky roster. Who managed to weather the storm this week? Let’s dive into the HFFL scores!
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Starting the season 2-0 is what everyone wants to do, but only 9 teams in the HFFL were able to do that this year. Perhaps that signals some parity across leagues. But in the LoC, it appears to signal the fact that a few teams are head and shoulders above the competition. Here are your week 2 scores:

Let’s start with the artistically rendered _diddY. Jim’s team goes 2-0 by scoring a week-high 128 points and demolishing the Lakehouse Vikes. Jim is looking quite strong through 2 weeks and has also held on to Josh Gordon this whole time. The rest of the LoC just swallowed their gum. Joining him at 2-0 are the MN Mongrels, who shot down the Goldfinches this week. Luke is a Bears fan and drafted Brandon Marshall and then executed a trade for Alshon Jeffery to go with his Bears defense! The final LoC undefeated team is Tragically Malicious. Mark has somewhat pinned his hopes and dreams to the Packers by employing Rodgers, Nelson and Lacy. This week, Rodgers/Nelson combined for 53 points (Lacy chipped in 5) and the Maulers didn’t stand a chance. Elsewhere, the Muffins got their first win, beating the entire Country of Chad, Wayne Thompson brought the Nerd Herd back to earth, and Team Python awoke from it’s slumber to drop the Princess down to 0-2. 

Current LoC Standings:
Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Bdgt Waiver Moves
1 avatar _ diddY 2-0-0 234 155 W-2 $100 2 4
2 avatar MN Mongrels 2-0-0 207 166 W-2 $66 11 12
3 avatar Tragically Malicious 2-0-0 196 145 W-2 $97 8 3
4 avatar Team Python 1-1-0 197 180 W-1 $100 6 1
5 avatar The Kosher Muffins 1-1-0 196 200 W-1 $76 12 3
6 avatar Pittsburgh Maulers 1-1-0 180 170 L-1 $100 3 3
7 avatar Hiawatha Goldfinches 1-1-0 164 177 L-1 $96 1 3
8 avatar Wayne Thompson 1-1-0 158 151 W-1 $100 4
9 avatar Nerd Herd 1-1-0 153 155 L-1 $100 7 3
10 avatar The Country of Chad 0-2-0 179 204 L-2 $93 10 3
11 avatar PowerRanger Princess 0-2-0 161 207 L-2 $94 5 7
12 avatar Lakehouse Vikes 0-2-0 128 243 L-2 $100 9

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Over in the PL, last week’s HFFLUBTotW winner, Orcwardness, tried to dodge the supposed curse while one of the league’s lowest scoring teams advanced to 2-0 thanks to their shutdown defese! Here are the scores!

Week 2 – Final Results

The curse lives! After winning the semi-prestigious award last week, Ron’s team laid a proverbial egg in week 2 – only managing 64 points and getting stomped by the Phantom Limbs. What went wrong? Well, last week’s incredible tandem of Calvin Johnson and AJ Green only combined for 8 total points this week. The Limbs now sit atop the league at 2-0 and look fearsome. Also at 2-0 is Quantum Phonics. Mr. Anderson eked out a 9 point win over rookie Herbal Tonic to stay undefeated and keep Sam winless. That’s cold. Now, deBrewliner is the final 2-0 team in the PL after beating the Dominators this week. Denny’s squad is 2-0 despite scoring the 2nd LOWEST points in the PL so far. But defense wins championships and teams have only scored an average of 55 points against him this season! It was good to see rookie WannaBe get his first HFFL win this week, beating The Eh Team by 9! Hooray for Kevin! Tyler’s Nanna Nancy got her first win of the season over Vandalay, moving them both to 1-1. And finally, Chris Wachter and Aaron Winter have a traditional side-bet in their fantasy games: loser buys the winner a beer. In this contest, Aaron gets the brew as he crushed the Cieras by 40. It isn’t over though! The schedule dictates that your week 2 opponent will also be your opponent in the final regular season game! CW may yet extract a beer from Aaron. 

Current PL Standings:
Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Bdgt Waiver Moves
1 avatar The Phantom Limbs 2-0-0 218 142 W-2 $100 12 5
2 avatar Quantum Phonics 2-0-0 168 157 W-2 $69 11 4
3 avatar deBrewliner 2-0-0 149 111 W-2 $100 10
4 avatar Orcwardness 1-1-0 206 206 L-1 $100 9 3
5 avatar Randy Ableman 1-1-0 199 210 W-1 $100 8 2
6 avatar Vandalay Industries 1-1-0 186 130 L-1 $95 7 2
7 avatar The Dominators 1-1-0 165 172 L-1 $100 6
8 avatar Nanna Nancy 1-1-0 157 168 W-1 $100 5
9 avatar WannaBe 1-1-0 150 157 W-1 $100 4 2
10 avatar Herbal Tonic 0-2-0 162 186 L-2 $98 3 1
11 avatar The Cutlass Cieras 0-2-0 154 196 L-2 $100 2 1
12 avatar The Eh Team 0-2-0 140 219 L-2 $100 1 2

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Finally, the EL also has 3 undefeated teams, including a team that dropped a $26 dollar waiver bid on Justin Forsett and then watched him get 6 points on his bench. It didn’t matter though, because Nate had… Darren Sproles. Scores:
Week 2 – Final Results

At one point on Sunday, Nate’s Gwardians trailed Jake by 39 points and still trailed going into Monday Night Football. But that’s when Jake’s Trent Richardson went head-to-head with Nate’s Darren Sproles. Sproles easily won that competition and handed the game to Nate by 11 points! Nate is not atop the standings at 2-0! Currently in 2nd is  Rüssnôçérôse, who beat H-Ike’s Daddy this week. When Yahoo’s robots handed out draft grades, Russ was handed a D! 
The ‘Bots were critical of many of Russ’ picks at that time and maybe that motivated Russ to prove the AI wrong and he is doing just that! Our last EL undefeated team is Nudibranch, who knocked off BigHassler this week thanks to Aaron Rodgers’ big game. The Chobani Champs are 1-1, but they are a strong 1-1 after beating Sesquipetantic and making family reunions awkward. If you didn’t know, Nick is Cory’s bro-in-law and their week 2 matchup insures that they will meet again in the final regular season game, when Nick will be looking for vengeance. It was Butterslide getting his first HFFL win this week over Ihenachos and InstaGraham adding to the misery for whatsynoname by keeping him winless. 
Current EL Standings:
Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Bdgt Waiver Moves
1 avatar Gwardians uda Galaxy 2-0-0 189 172 W-2 $62 11 5
2 avatar Rüssnôçérôse 2-0-0 180 140 W-2 $93 4 6
3 avatar Nudibranch 2-0-0 180 151 W-2 $100 2
4 avatar Chobani Champions 1-1-0 201 170 W-1 $100 12 2
5 avatar Ihenachos Deluxe 1-1-0 182 189 L-1 $77 3 2
6 avatar InstaGraham 1-1-0 170 149 W-1 $100 5 2
7 avatar Butterslide 1-1-0 168 169 W-1 $93 8 4
8 avatar Jake’s Quality Team 1-1-0 151 131 L-1 $95 1 4
9 avatar H-Ike’s Daddy 1-1-0 145 157 L-1 $100 7
10 avatar BigHassler 0-2-0 151 191 L-2 $99 9 2
11 avatar Sesquipetantic Squad 0-2-0 149 190 L-2 $100 10 2
12 avatar whatsynoname 0-2-0 128 185 L-2 $100 6

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It’s _diddY! The HFFL has been around since 2007, when Jim was the inaugural league champion! Back then it was a cute little 14 team league and Jim’s co-MVPs were LaDainian Tomlinson and Randy Moss. Since then, Jim has had his ups and downs but hasn’t won a Super Bowl. Now, sitting atop the LoC, he looks ready to take another shot. If Jim has his way, this could be a throwback season!

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Week 2 was replete with injuries to key players, so I’m sure some managers are feeling the pressure now.
I’m guessing the waiver wires will be buzzing today! And don’t forget, you can always try to patch up your team through the trade market too! 
The Thursday game this week is Tampa Bay vs. Atlanta, to check your lineups early!
Until Next Week, 
Commish Peter

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