2014 – Week 5

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It’s often said that successful teams are those that capitalize on the mistakes of their opponents. What a team does after they force a turnover, for example. But sometimes, it’s how a team responds to their own mistakes or shortcomings that is the most telling sign of a successful team. For example, the Bears and Panthers game started off with this muffed punt return that the Panthers were able to turn around for themselves.
Carolina went on to win that game. 
The Eagles have been winning despite a pattern of massive under-performance from star RB LeSean McCoy, but this week it looked like he had his juke back! Sort of…

​And yeah, that was a fumble at the end. Those of us who own McCoy cannot be entertained by this. 
But if you want to really take in under-performance, mediocrity and flat out misery, look no further than the Jacksonville Jaguars. This team is a disaster. On Sunday, they had to apologize after their mascot displayed this inappropriate sign:
To be fair, he also performed this stunt, which was the most exciting thing the fans saw on Sunday:
And, hey! The Jacksonville stadium has a swimming pool for fans to watch the game in! So bring your swimsuit to the game! Or be the weirdo who just goes in fully clothed!

Yes, just be glad your aren’t a Jags fan!

What about the HFFL? Well, we have our own version of the winless Jags. And while all the undefeated NFL teams lost this weekend, one of ours stayed on track! Let’s dive in!
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Jim’s team has been nigh unstoppable this season in the LOC, but this week, he had his toughest test yet. Scores:
That’s right! Team Python has taken down the previously undefeated _diddY! And it wasn’t close. Brian’s squad, led be Demaryius Thomas, dismantled Jim’s team and negated the big game from Arian Foster. Jim still sits atop the league standings, but he’s shown he’s vulnerable now. And Brian has shown that he is a top tier team in the LOC. It was a very tight contest between Malicious and Mongrels, but Malicious came out on top in the end by 3 points. Mark’s Packer-heavy lineup is finally coming together with the appearance of Eddie Lacy. Tom’s Champions have now won 2 in a row after beating the Maulers and he’s climbing the standings. The Muffins looked very strong a couple weeks ago, but now find themselves under .500 after the Nerd Herd held them to 63 points this week! While Carl was recovering from his big marathon on Sunday, his team put their feet up too and lost to Chad by many points. And the Snapping Turtles “decided” to go with Ryan Fitzpatrick at QB and leave Peyton Manning on the bench. The result: a season low 32 total points and a loss to the Finches. Great job, Finches!!!
Current LOC Standings:
Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Bdgt Waiver Moves
1 avatar _ diddY 4-1-0 526 460 L-1 $97 12 6
2 avatar Tragically Malicious 4-1-0 503 459 W-2 $80 11 8
3 avatar Team Python 4-1-0 496 395 W-4 $67 10 5
4 avatar The Country of Chad 3-2-0 453 417 W-3 $86 9 8
5 avatar Hiawatha Goldfinches 3-2-0 384 374 W-1 $27 8 14
6 avatar The Kosher Muffins 2-3-0 482 441 L-2 $28 7 7
7 avatar MN Mongrels 2-3-0 478 457 L-3 $13 6 21
8 avatar We are the champions 2-3-0 451 439 W-2 $67 5 15
9 avatar Pittsburgh Maulers 2-3-0 414 429 L-2 $10 4 13
10 avatar Nerd Herd 2-3-0 401 411 W-1 $95 3 4
11 avatar Lakehouse Vikes 1-4-0 334 559 L-1 $95 2 3
12 avatar Snapping Turtles 1-4-0 322 403 L-3 $100 1 3
Last standings update: Tue Oct 07 04:17am CDT
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The PL had it’s share of defensive slugfests this week along with some high flying teams running away with their games. Scores:

Let’s start with The Eh Team vs. Randy Ableman. Ableman has been very strong the last couple of weeks and looked to feast on Eric’s 0-4 team. BUT, Eric was ready to make his charge on Monday night with the Seattle defense. All he needed was 5 points or more from the best defense in football. He got 2 and came up just short. Heartbreaking. Also heartbreaking was WannaBe’s oh-so-close game with Quantum Phonics. Chris remained technically undefeated with a four point win over Kevin when Seattle’s kicker got him 11 points on Monday night. The Limbs lost a heartbreaker to deBrewliner. The Limbs were leading by a nice cushion going in to Sunday night and had Cincinnati’s vaunted defense ready to haunt the struggling Brady. But the Bungles defense posted -3 points and Gronk+Bernard ran up some points for Denny leading to a 5 point loss for the Limbs. Nanna Nancy spanked Herbal Tonic and appears to be back on track. The Cieras continued their winning streak by beating up on Orcwardness. And the Dominators only needed 78 points to hold off Vandalay and their 55. 
Current PL Standings:
Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Bdgt Waiver Moves
1 avatar Quantum Phonics 4-0-1 465 408 W-2 $68 12 7
2 avatar The Dominators 4-1-0 459 361 W-3 $100 11 1
3 avatar deBrewliner 3-1-1 439 413 W-1 $100 10 4
4 avatar Randy Ableman 3-2-0 491 486 W-2 $100 9 4
5 avatar The Cutlass Cieras 3-2-0 460 444 W-3 $95 8 5
6 avatar The Phantom Limbs 3-2-0 451 399 L-1 $73 7 11
7 avatar Orcwardness 2-3-0 437 466 L-2 $29 6 18
8 avatar Nanna Nancy 2-3-0 428 455 W-1 $99 5 1
9 avatar Vandalay Industries 2-3-0 390 351 L-1 $88 4 7
10 avatar WannaBe 2-3-0 387 390 L-2 $98 3 7
11 avatar Herbal Tonic 1-4-0 396 457 L-2 $35 2 7
12 avatar The Eh Team 0-5-0 370 543 L-5 $84 1 10
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When _diddY fell in the LOC, all eyes turned to last week’s HFFLUBTotW – Nudibranch. Would he become the last undefeated HFFL team? Scores:

YES! Nudibranch scored 120 and crushed whatsyoname to go to 5-0! What a crazy run for Jon’s team to start the year! But now he’s got a target on his back. The game of the week in the HFFL was in the Elite League as InstaGraham and Ihenachos got locked up in a shootout! Graham was leading going into Monday night, but Deluxe had Marshawn Lynch yet to go! In the end, Lynch came up just short, leaving Andy to plead with the league to post some sort of stat correction that would give him the win. What a wild game! The other EL big dogs kept rolling. The Gwardians scored 101 and smacked Butterslide. Russ put up 117 and destroyed Jake’s team. BigHassler only needed 64 to edge Sesquipetantic and Chobani edged out H-Ike’s Daddy as well. All this means that there is a complete logjam atop the EL standings with Nudibranch and then three 4-1 teams. This should make for some very important games from here on out. In fact, it starts next week when the top two teams (Nudibranch and Instagraham) will throw it down for a HUGE game!! Keep it cordial, gentlemen.
Current EL standings:
Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Bdgt Waiver Moves
1 avatar Nudibranch 5-0-0 458 370 W-5 $95 12 4
2 avatar InstaGraham 4-1-0 488 453 W-4 $98 11 3
3 avatar Rüssnôçérôse 4-1-0 478 384 W-1 $75 10 11
4 avatar Gwardians uda Galaxy 4-1-0 449 403 W-2 $62 9 8
5 avatar Ihenachos Deluxe 2-3-0 518 503 L-2 $70 8 7
6 avatar Chobani Champions 2-3-0 459 470 W-1 $98 7 5
7 avatar Butterslide 2-3-0 440 433 L-1 $66 6 7
8 avatar BigHassler 2-3-0 404 432 W-1 $98 5 3
9 avatar Sesquipetantic Squad 2-3-0 381 357 L-1 $60 4 6
10 avatar whatsynoname 1-4-0 395 457 L-1 $100 3 1
11 avatar Jake’s Quality Team 1-4-0 338 416 L-4 $70 2 8
12 avatar H-Ike’s Daddy 1-4-0 335 465 L-4 $100 1 2

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This was a very tough call this week. I could easily have gone with InstaGraham for their heart-pounding win over Ihenachos. Instead, I went with the team that dethroned _diddY! And that’s Team Python!

​Brian’s team is in the LOC in only his second year in the HFFL. Last year in the EL, he was able to sneak in to the playoffs as a 6 seed and eventually win 3rd place in the playoffs! Now he’s won 4 in a row and is one a very hot streak! I’m not sure how this thrill compares to his days as a professional wrestler and snake handler, but I’m guessing it’s pretty close! Congrats, Brian!
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The bye week teams this week are Kansas City and New Orleans. I like this “two teams at a time” thing! 
The Thursday matchup will feature the Colts and the Texans. The Thursday games have been very lopsided so far, so here’s hoping these teams can at least make it interesting. And yes, I’ve already purged most of last Thursday’s game from my memory banks. I’d appreciate it if Packer fans do the same. 
Until Next Week, 
Commish Peter

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