2014 – Week 11

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It was yet another wild week in the NFL. Last week the Broncos looked unstoppable and kept the pedal down. They even decided to rest Peyton Manning, but Peyton had other ideas. This week, they lost to the Rams and only managed 7 total points! What happened?! Well, the Rams got plays like this to go their way:


That’s two deflections, a catch by the QB and a decent little gain. Crazy. The Broncos also got shook up when Emmanuel Sanders got laid out by this big hit:

And Cleveland lost this week at home to Houston, but at least Cleveland looks like a nice place to play…. if you’re a pigeon.

Now, there are only two weeks left in the HFFL regular season! And we got our first two playoff clinchers this weekend! Everyone else is still fighting for their playoff lives with the full knowledge that half of each league will keep each other company in the Toilet Bowl.

 

Yeesh…. But let’s focus on the good! 
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We begin in the LOC where we find our first playoff clincher! Scores:

The Champions put up a good fight, but the power of Malicious…. could not be undone. Mark’s Packers dismantled another team and edged out Tom’s squad by 14. So Mark has now clinched a playoff spot in the LOC and looks almost unstoppable. _diddY has fallen on some hard times, dropping 2 of his last 3 games. This week he lost to a resurgent Mongrels team that benefited from the coming out party that Mike Evans threw (32 points?!?). The Snapping Turtles sure must be grateful to have played the Lakehouse Vikes this week. Wayne’s 54 points wouldn’t have beaten anyone BUT the Vikes and their 47. If Carl had gone against his principles and started the Packers defense from his bench, he could have added 30 points to his total. Hard to fault a guy on principles though. The Muffins continue to underperform, this week losing to the ‘Finches and falling to 10th place. Time to start planning for an epic run through the Toilet Bowl bracket. Country of Chad pulled together and got a big win over Sieve and have now climbed into 3rd in the standings! And what is going on with Team Python?! The once-strong squad has now lost 2 in a row and fallen all the way to 5th place after getting beat by the Nerd Herd. Brian needs to get it together or risk missing the playoffs! 
Current LOC Standings: 
Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Bdgt Waiver Moves
*1 avatar Tragically Malicious 9-2-0 1204 1023 W-5 $3 12 17
2 avatar _ diddY 7-4-0 1118 1007 L-1 $58 11 17
3 avatar The Country of Chad 7-4-0 1018 927 W-2 $45 10 21
4 avatar Hiawatha Goldfinches 7-4-0 899 852 W-3 $0 9 40
5 avatar Team Python 6-5-0 1118 1073 L-2 $20 8 12
6 avatar MN Mongrels 6-5-0 1040 1033 W-1 $2 7 32
7 avatar We are the champions 5-6-0 1042 1005 L-2 $0 6 38
8 avatar Nerd Herd 5-6-0 872 933 W-1 $45 5 11
9 avatar Snapping Turtles 5-6-0 814 851 W-1 $0 4 12
10 avatar The Kosher Muffins 3-8-0 971 1002 L-2 $0 3 23
11 avatar Lakehouse Vikes 3-8-0 806 1050 L-1 $88 2 9
12 avatar Sieve 3-8-0 799 945 L-1 $0 1 27
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And now for the Bizarro League. The top four teams in the PL standings each have at least 1 tie. What are the odds of that happening?? In any case, it means that these rankings are going to be moving A LOT in the next two weeks. Scores: 

The two pastors faced off this week in an epic tilt that ended…. with a tie. Where is boasting? It is excluded. Chris and Spencer both undershot their projections by a significant margin and landed at 68 points. They both remain in the mix atop the league though. Hanging onto first for another week is Quantum Phonics who beat Orcwardness by 14. Quantum will play the Cieras next week in a huge game with lots of playoff implications. The hottest team in the PL right now is The Eh Team, who beat deBrewliner in an international match. Eric’s team opened the season 0-5 and looked like the doormat of the league. Since then he’s undefeated, winning 6 straight! Crazy. The Limbs notched a pedestrian win this week over Vandalay to move into 4th place. They are hoping the addition of an active Josh Gordon this week will push them over the top. Ableman also got a win over Nancy and now sits in 5th. And Herbal Tonic is showing some fight, beating WannaBe this week!
Current Muddled PL Standings: 
Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Bdgt Waiver Moves
*1 avatar Quantum Phonics 7-2-2 1055 910 W-1 $54 12 16
2 avatar The Dominators 6-3-2 999 890 T-1 $86 11 5
3 avatar The Cutlass Cieras 6-4-1 1070 991 T-1 $70 10 11
4 avatar The Phantom Limbs 6-4-1 951 943 W-2 $33 9 25
5 avatar Randy Ableman 6-5-0 1057 1002 W-1 $0 8 14
6 avatar The Eh Team 6-5-0 1001 1065 W-6 $19 7 26
7 avatar deBrewliner 4-5-2 956 1015 L-4 $100 6 7
8 avatar WannaBe 5-6-0 868 957 L-1 $78 5 24
9 avatar Orcwardness 4-7-0 1007 996 L-2 $0 4 36
10 avatar Nanna Nancy 4-7-0 957 1042 L-1 $99 3 6
11 avatar Herbal Tonic 4-7-0 922 989 W-1 $2 2 18
12 avatar Vandalay Industries 4-7-0 825 868 L-1 $79 1 13

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Most leagues have a top tier of teams. The top tier in the EL consists of one team: InstaGraham. Hyatt is definitely gunning for the ballerina trophy this year. Scores:

Yep, another week, another big win for Hyatt’s team. This week it was over Butterslide. Hyatt has so many weapons right now and if Mike Evans is going to start producing big numbers consistently, the rest of the EL is in big trouble. Also, Hyatt plays the bottom two teams in these last two weeks. Elsewhere, Nudibranch shot down the Gwardians by 7 in an entertaining matchup and moved up to 2nd in the standings. The Gwardians slip to 4th for the moment. Also in the playoff hunt is Ihenachos, who got a win this week over Sesquipetantic. Andy has the 2nd most overall points in the EL and may pose the biggest threat to InstaGraham in the playoffs. Rüssnôçérôse started the season strong, but has fallen on hard times lately. This week he lost to BigHassler and the two of them flipped seeds so Russ is currently out of a playoff spot! Yikes. Jake’s Quality Team had a rough week, scoring only 54 and getting clobbered by Chobani Champs. And in a shouting match, whatsyoname got the better of H-Ike’s Daddy’s autopilot. 
Current EL Standings: 
Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Bdgt Waiver Moves
*1 avatar InstaGraham 10-1-0 1204 1000 W-10 $71 12 13
2 avatar Nudibranch 8-3-0 1025 943 W-2 $73 11 15
3 avatar Ihenachos Deluxe 7-4-0 1135 1022 W-3 $31 10 18
4 avatar Gwardians uda Galaxy 7-4-0 966 1015 L-2 $29 9 18
5 avatar Butterslide 6-5-0 1055 967 L-1 $12 8 17
6 avatar BigHassler 6-5-0 1009 949 W-1 $36 7 11
7 avatar Rüssnôçérôse 6-5-0 1003 935 L-3 $43 6 19
8 avatar Chobani Champions 4-7-0 1054 1076 W-1 $67 5 9
9 avatar Sesquipetantic Squad 4-7-0 888 873 L-1 $45 4 12
10 avatar Jake’s Quality Team 4-7-0 801 953 L-1 $50 3 12
11 avatar whatsynoname 3-8-0 876 1000 W-1 $100 2 1
12 avatar H-Ike’s Daddy 1-10-0 736 1019 L-10 $100 1 5

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We go with one of the hottest teams in the HFFL: The Eh Team!

Eric’s turn around has been pretty incredible. From winless in his first 5 to undefeated in his last 6. What fuels this improbable comeback? Probably poutine and Tim Horton’s. Eric may be a temporary resident of Canada, but now that this picture exists, they will never forget him north of the border. 
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Only two teams are on byes this week: Carolina and Pittsburgh. Thursday night is Chiefs vs. Raiders. 
The trade deadline has now passed, so the waiver wire and free agency are your only hope to fix your teams from now on! Only two weeks left in the regular season!
Also, I’ve had some issues with delivery of this email to a few accounts. It seems that perhaps some servers think the blast looks a bit “spammy”. If you don’t receive your email, you can always view the “back issues” on http://www.hiawathafantasyfootball.com
Until Next Week,
Commish Peter

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