2014 – Week 13

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Winning is always the goal in the NFL, but there’s something to be said about how you win as well. You always want quality wins, not ugly wins. For the Vikings this weekend, it was a big win over the Panthers based in large part on TWO blocked punts for TDs in the first 20 or so minutes of play!
A great way to start a big win. Now, the Colts also won on Sunday, but they did NOT have a good start to that win. First play of the game: 
And things got better from there, but there was still this amazing play from later in the game. Fleener is the widest of open downfield and then:
But probably the most quality win of the weekend was the Packers beating the Patriots at Lambeau to assert themselves in the discussion about the best team in the league right now. Multiple times the CBS cameras captured Brady hurling F-bombs on the sidelines as his team underperformed. Oh, and also he was led around on a leash at some point.
So while the NFL teams are making their real-life playoff pushes, the HFFL regular season is already over! This is the big week where the playoff picture finally came into focus and rewarded many teams while others realized they would be fighting for their lives in the “Toilet Bowl”. Could the hot teams stay hot going in to their title runs?? Let’s dive in!
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In the LOC there were four 7-6 teams and only three playoff spots for them. Someone was going to be left without a chair when the music stopped. Who was it? Scores:
The ‘Finches and the Mongrels tangled this weekend in a very important game. The Mongrels wanted a top seed in the playoffs and the ‘Finches just wanted a seed (heh, I get it). Well, Dan’s team couldn’t pull off the upset and lost by 5 in a heartbreaker. Dan then needed help to get in and looked to Tom’s team to lose. But the Champions are ascending and they beat down Python this week with 135 points thanks in large part to Tre Mason’s big day. So the Champs clinched a playoff spot and the ‘Finches are out. Wow. Holding the top two seeds (and first round byes) are Malicious (beating Sieve in a somewhat close game) and _diddY (beating the Vikes in a blowout). Could we see a 2013 PL Super Bowl rematch this year in the LOC? Rounding out the LOC playoff picture is Country of Chad, who are backing into the playoffs after two straight losses, this week to the Muffins. Jockeying for Toilet Bowl position, the Nerd Herd easily took care of the punchless Turtles. 
Final Regular Season LOC Standings: 
Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Bdgt Waiver Moves
*1 avatar Tragically Malicious 11-2-0 1402 1188 W-7 $0 12 19
*2 avatar _ diddY 9-4-0 1322 1148 W-2 $21 11 19
*3 avatar MN Mongrels 8-5-0 1221 1180 W-3 $2 10 35
*4 avatar Team Python 7-6-0 1385 1338 L-1 $9 9 14
*5 avatar We are the champions 7-6-0 1308 1203 W-2 $0 8 44
*6 avatar The Country of Chad 7-6-0 1186 1117 L-2 $33 7 29
7 avatar Hiawatha Goldfinches 7-6-0 1109 1093 L-2 $0 6 47
8 avatar Nerd Herd 6-7-0 1053 1101 W-1 $45 5 11
9 avatar Snapping Turtles 5-8-0 926 1037 L-2 $0 4 12
10 avatar The Kosher Muffins 4-9-0 1143 1185 W-1 $0 3 30
11 avatar Sieve 4-9-0 977 1126 L-1 $0 2 31
12 avatar Lakehouse Vikes 3-10-0 941 1257 L-3 $88 1 10
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There were some VERY exciting games in the PL with huge playoff implications. Like the LOC, the 7-6 crowd couldn’t all make it and one was left in the cold. Scores:

We begin with WannaBe. Kevin has had an up and down season and was just hoping for some mathematical way to make the playoffs. He knew the first step would be to beat the hottest team in the PL: The Eh Team (winners of 7 straight). Well, Kevin did just that, clobbering Eric with 131 points. But the rest of the stars couldn’t align and Kevin’s 7-6 squad missed the cut.
The Eh Team was dropped all the way to 6th place. Leaping up in the standings were the Dominators, beating deBrewliner by 8 and taking a first round bye! Joining him on bye next week will be Quantum Phonics, who held the top seed despite a 1 point loss to Herbal Tonic this week! Also taking a 1 point loss was Randy Ableman. The Cieras bested him and grabbed the 3rd seed. The Limbs were gunning for a top 2 seed and had to get through Orcwardness. In an entertaining game, Ron’s team held off the Miami defense on Monday night to seal the win and drop the Limbs to the 4th seed. And at the kids’ table, Nanna and Vandalay squabbled and Vandalay came out on top and dropped Tyler to the basement of the PL. 
Final PL Regular Season Standings: 
Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Bdgt Waiver Moves
*1 avatar Quantum Phonics 8-3-2 1250 1071 L-1 $46 12 18
*2 avatar The Dominators 7-4-2 1142 1093 W-1 $84 11 6
*3 avatar The Cutlass Cieras 7-5-1 1241 1196 W-1 $65 10 14
*4 avatar The Phantom Limbs 7-5-1 1167 1153 L-1 $14 9 26
*5 avatar Randy Ableman 7-6-0 1242 1185 L-1 $0 8 18
*6 avatar The Eh Team 7-6-0 1205 1253 L-1 $7 7 29
7 avatar WannaBe 7-6-0 1112 1114 W-2 $78 6 26
8 avatar Herbal Tonic 6-7-0 1133 1131 W-3 $2 5 18
9 avatar Orcwardness 5-8-0 1217 1203 W-1 $0 4 42
10 avatar deBrewliner 4-7-2 1127 1220 L-6 $100 3 9
11 avatar Vandalay Industries 5-8-0 974 1059 W-1 $76 2 14
12 avatar Nanna Nancy 4-9-0 1095 1227 L-3 $99 1 7

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You’ll recall that in the EL, InstaGraham has been making a mockery of the HFFL all season long, winning 11 straight games and cruising into the playoffs. He had one last hurdle to clear before taking a week off to prepare for his title run. Scores: 

Yes, it is! InstaGraham goes DOWN this week at the hands of whatsyoname! Giving hope to all EL playoff teams, Isaac took down the king in the final regular season game! Behind CJ Anderson, whatsyoname came out guns blazing trying to play the spoiler and, by golly, he did it. One of the most amazing wins in the HFFL this year. Hyatt keeps the top seed, but showed that he definitely isn’t invincible. Hanging onto the 2 seed is Nudibranch after a loss to Big Hassler this week. Hassler wins 3 straight, grabs the 4 seed and waits patiently for his playoff shot and his firstborn child! What an exciting week he has ahead of him! Ihenachos got a narrow 5 point win over Butterslide to win the 3 seed, but Joel’s team is looking strong and squeaked into the playoffs at the 6 spot. The Gwardians back into their playoff run with a loss Jake’s team (Tre Mason again). The Unlucky 7-6 team in the EL was Rüssnôçérôse, just missing the cut even with a win over H-Ike’s Daddy this week. And Family Thanksgiving was tense for Cory and Nick this year as their teams played each other. Cory will be eating leftover points for awhile after crushing his brother-in-law. Will they meet a third time this year? Only if they both win in the TB next week!
Final EL Regular Season Standings:
Rank Team W-L-T Pts For Pts Agnst Streak Waiver Bdgt Waiver Moves
*1 avatar InstaGraham 11-2-0 1407 1193 L-1 $71 12 14
*2 avatar Nudibranch 9-4-0 1191 1132 L-1 $63 11 18
*3 avatar Ihenachos Deluxe 8-5-0 1308 1225 W-1 $31 10 19
*4 avatar BigHassler 8-5-0 1223 1092 W-3 $29 9 15
*5 avatar Gwardians uda Galaxy 8-5-0 1179 1232 L-1 $29 8 20
*6 avatar Butterslide 7-6-0 1232 1126 L-1 $12 7 17
7 avatar Rüssnôçérôse 7-6-0 1150 1093 W-1 $16 6 23
8 avatar Jake’s Quality Team 6-7-0 1049 1172 W-2 $50 5 12
9 avatar Chobani Champions 5-8-0 1242 1251 W-1 $67 4 10
10 avatar whatsynoname 4-9-0 1079 1188 W-1 $100 3 1
11 avatar Sesquipetantic Squad 4-9-0 1034 1069 L-3 $45 2 12
12 avatar H-Ike’s Daddy 1-12-0 920 1241 L-12 $100 1 6

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After this week, no one will be asking Isaac “whatsyoname?” again. He has done what many thought impossible: beaten InstaGraham. On paper this looked like a pretty easy win for Hyatt’s team, Isaac’s season had been fairly rough and he’d lost 3 of his last 4. But Isaac put together the perfect game plan: neutralize Jimmy Graham. When his defense was able to hold Jimmy to zero points, the door was wide open for his offense to win it for him. And they did. It was shocking and amazing. I’m guessing Isaac’s excitement is wearing off right about…. now. 
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Well, here we are: the Fantasy Playoffs. Each league will have 4 teams on byes next week: the top two in the playoffs and the top two in the Toilet Bowl Consolation Tournaments. Those of you who are playing next week don’t need me to tell you how important these games are. A loss at this point is fatal. Remember, the goal is to win the trophy in your league, but you also want to win a ticket to the LOC for next year! To win an LOC ticket, you must finish as one of the top 3 teams your playoff tournament OR win your Toilet Super Bowl. So EVERYONE is still alive for a change at the LOC next year. 
There’s only one Thursday game to keep track of this week: Cowboys at Bears. There are definitely some points to be had in that one. 
Our final update has been made to the SuperStandings!  See how the HFFL universe played out in 2014 and where you ranked! 
Now go analyze your rosters, put your best lineup together and good luck!
Until Next Week, 
Commish Peter

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