HFFL Universal Blast: Week 2

blast logo comic

When it comes to the NFL, you’ve got to expect the unexpected. It seems that as soon as you think you know what’s going on with a given team, things change drastically. And nowhere is that more true than in the first few weeks of the regular season.

Last week, Titans rookie QB Marcus Mariota looked like a superstar right out of the gate against the Bucs. This week he faced Cleveland and (on paper) it looked like he would shine again. Nope, even Johnny Manziel out-played him and this play pretty much sums up his afternoon:

Yep, he lost his shoe, his helmet and the football all in a single play. Oof.

Our Vikings had an abysmal start to the year on Monday night, but they quickly whipped themselves into shape and beat up the Lions on Sunday. Teddy and AP looked a lot better and this play highlights how things just went right this time around.

The vaunted NFC East division is a mess right now with the Eagles 0-2 (and Demarco having 11 total yards after 2 weeks), the Cowboys 2 best players breaking bones, the Skin’s drama and the Giants starting 0-2 even with Beckham Jr. doing stuff like this:

And how about Cam Newton going for the Fumblecopter, but ultimately looking like an Olympic gymnast on his way into the endzone?

The Bills had their sights set on beating the Pats this week and talked about it a lot. Then the Pats came in and did what they always do – win. Sorry, Bills fans. Somethings never change.

So with all the upheaval that this weekend brought, who in the HFFL came out ahead in the end? Let’s find out.

LoC Logo

There were a couple of close games in the LOC this week and also a couple of blowouts. Here are the scores:

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WOLYA Nothing was riding high and put out the call for some competition this week. HitManHass answered the bell and managed to defeat Tom’s team on Monday night – holding Andrew Luck to a measly 11 points. Bret’s team benefitted from DeAngelo Williams’ surprise 26 this week and now sits atop the league standings! Meanwhile, the Limbs are also 2-0 and their defense looks stout. After crushing #CutTheCheck this week, they’ve allowed only 95 points through two games! And defense wins championships. And He’s Loose!!! bounced back from a bad week 1 to score 103 this week, unfortunately it was against No Money Manziel who scored 115. If Hyatt had started Torry Smith, things would have been different. Elsewhere, The Eh Team is 2-0 after beating Butterslide by 11. The ‘Finches dropped to 1-1 as Fountain of Bacon took them down. And Tragically Malicious is in the win column after getting past The diddy this week.

Current LOC Standings:

screenshot-football.fantasysports.yahoo.com 2015-09-22 07-15-31

Premier League Logo

I knew the PL was going to be a fun one to watch. Judging by the week 2 outcomes, anyone could take this league. Here are the scores:

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Only 2 teams stayed undefeated after 2 weeks! One was The Stale Muffins, who continued their 100+ scoring streak by putting up 117 in their defeat of Mighty Mouse Rat. Mike’s feeling pretty good about grabbing DeAngelo as La’veon’s handcuff now! The other 2-0 team is Nerd Herd! Bob scored a respectable 85 to edge the now-winless KRUG by 9. If Bob can managed to get Jimmy Graham involved somehow, look out. Putting up the big score of the week was rookie The Original Wonky. Matt’s squad demolished Hugginkiss behind Larry Fitzgerald’s surprise monster game. Brian’s a bit bewildered looking at Jeremy Hill’s -1 point fiasco.

The Tusken Raiders bounced back from a tough loss last week to hand Flanders his first loss. The Dominators did just that, beating Russ by 24. And Nana Nancy righted the ship and held Polska to only 52. Oof.

Current PL Standings:

screenshot-football.fantasysports.yahoo.com 2015-09-22 07-23-52

Elite League Logo

The EL really looks like it has a top tier already, with two teams looking fierce after 2 weeks. Still, they have a whopping FIVE undefeated teams! Scores:

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Randy Ableman came back to earth a bit from last week’s incredible performance, but his 98 (only 8 from RBs!) were enough to keep Straight Cash Homie winless on the year. Caleb’s team has a bad, bad week. Roddy White: 0. Jeremy Hill: -1. Mike Evans: 0.

Better days are ahead, Caleb. Elsewhere, The Farce Awakens was serious about destroying Last Place. His 112 were the highest in the EL this week and he’s right up there with Ableman in the standings. Also a strong 2-0 are the Marshmallow Mateys! Cory’s team took down the Cieras easily this week. He-Man Chris T. has a strong defense and held Sesquipetantic to only 47 this week in his win. Nick’s regrouping this week after losing Romo to a broken collarbone, trying to decide if Bradford is the next man up. Nudibranch is 2-0 after being Wayne’s eponymous team. And congrats to Turn Down for Watt on their first HFFL win, a 23 point defeat of michael+magic+bird!

Current EL Standings:

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Bret the Hitman Hass! Bret is in the LOC this year and this week he managed to take down the reigning champion: Tom! Bret now sits atop the LOC and is feeling good. But that’s not all! Bret was a participant in the HFFL Survivor Pool too and with all the wild NFL outcomes from the weekend, Bret was the ONLY person to pick a winner this week! That means he won the pool in week 2!! And he picked the Cardinals to do it! Amazing!

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The SuperStandings have been updated and Randy Ableman is the king of the hill for the moment.

I also added a tab to the SuperStandings page that tallies the points scored in each league to see which league won the week! Last week, the Elite League was the big winner – scoring 1116 points! This week, it was the LOC with 1105 carrying the day!


Week 3 is the last “full week” before the bye weeks come into play. It’s time to evaluate your roster to see what kind of hole the bye weeks will create and make sure you have them plugged up!

Until Next Week,

Commish Peter

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