HFFL Universal Blast – 2016 Week 1

Welcome to the 2016 HFFL season! And welcome to the…

blast logo comic

We’ve waited patiently all spring and all summer… now it’s finally here. Week 1 of the NFL season!

Welcome to the HFFLUB, a weekly newsletter featuring some NFL highlights (and lowlights) from the week and some commentary on the week in the HFFL. Think of it like Sportscenter for our fantasy league! So let’s get to it!

Well, the NFL’s week 1 started out with a bang, if you were Cam Newton that is. The Panthers lost in their rematch against the Super Bowl champion Broncos, but Cam might not even remember it happening based on how many unflagged headshots he endured:

Probably not the way Roger Goodell would have liked to start out this year.

Then Sunday rolled around and we had some real nailbiters! Of course, we have to start with our local squad. The Vikings looked rough in the first half, but the defense came to the rescue in the 2nd half:

And, to be fair, we should also mention that the Packers won their game over the Jags with a late defensive stop. This game was played in Florida and Aaron Rodgers isn’t used to the heat apparently.

Still, he managed to get this throw to stick somehow…

It was a very wild game between the Raiders and the Saints in New Orleans. Derek Carr was there to win and he showed it with this run:

The Saints had a big play of their own, namely a 98 yard TD catch and run for Brandin Cooks! 98 yards?!?

But at the end, the Raiders scored and opted to go for 2 and the win rather than 1 and the OT. Gutsy call for coach del Rio! And the survey says…


The Patriots pulled off an upset win on Sunday night without Gronk or Brady thanks to a Cardinals missed FG late. Coach B is going completely bonkers!!!

But the most talked about game ending might be the Cowboys loss to the Giants thanks to a bone-headed move by Terrance Williams who stayed in bounds rather than get out and give the kicker a shot. Time expired. That’s an L.

And finally, the 2nd Monday night game was a snoozer shutout where the newly relocated Rams didn’t score a single point. The most interesting part of the game was probably when a fan ran onto the field. TV cameras usually ignore this kind of shenanigans, but Kevin Harlan’s radio broadcast gave us the full play by play. Here’s his call synced up with a fan’s video of the incident!

But let’s dispense with the NFL recap and get to the meat and potatoes: how did everyone fare in week 1 of the HFFL season?? Which rookies stood out and made their presence known in their leagues?? And which teams are going to be blowing their FAAB budgets on waivers players this week to try to fix their apparently broken teams?? Read on, my friends!

LoC Logo

Let’s start with the LOC, where we saw a little bit of everything in this first week. Scores:


So the defending champion Eh Team got back to business in 2016, scoring 120 points and beating The Limbs. After the Vikes D gave the Limbs 21 points, Eric knew he needed to have some serious scores in the late games. Andrew Luck came through with 35 and that put the game away. Nick took some flak at the draft for his $20 opening bid on CJ Anderson that no one else jumped in on. For this week at least, he’s a genius. CJ scored 25 on Thursday and Spencer Ware scored 25 on Sunday. The Nerd Herd was quickly cooked. The Mateys made their presence known with a win over the Comeback Kid. Ableman was a 25 point winner over Nana Nancy. Matt won the defensive battle over Tom 66-77. And the closest game of the week was HitManHass squeezing by with a 4 point win over Nate’s squad!

Current LOC Standings:


Premier League Logo

In the PL, fear the Rookies! This league has 3 brand new players in it and all 3 of them won their first game! Incredible. Scores:


Top score of the week in the PL when to Dan’s Dazzling Team! Their 116 overcame a strong 90 from the wily veteran Ron. Dan’s coupling of Breese and Cooks paid huge dividends this week! Jacob’s Chandler Mustangs crushed Wayne’s Marauders with a strong showing across his lineup. He even left Winston’s 26 points on the bench! Paul’s Peerless team also won, defeating HFFL stalwart Jim by 9 points. Jim has no one to blame but Dez Bryant and his donut this week. Elsewhere, Malicious mounted an epic comeback win over the Cieras thanks to DeAngelo Williams’ huge Monday night game (28 points!!). Sorry, Cieras….

Fog Critter picked up a 5 point win over Pesticides and, in a nailbiter, Thompsons Team got a 1 point victory over Lacy’s Out despite leaving Jamaal Charles in for the week and taking the zero (while Ameer Abdullah’s 17 sat on the bench)!

Current PL Standings:


Elite League Logo

While the PL rookies enjoyed much success, the same can’t be said for the EL rookies. Our two courageous young recruits begin the season with a bitter taste in their mouths. Such is the game. Scores:


Harper’s team came to play! Hyatt scored the most points in the HFFL in week 1 thanks to Luck and Cooks. Carlos Hyde was just the cherry on top on Monday. Brian’s squad joins the list of good scores that weren’t good enough this week. The Tusken Raiders also cracked the century mark with CJ and AJ leading the wayJ and Spencer’s 79 never got close. As for our rookies, David’s Magic Skol Bus got rocked by the Treasured Hummels and Edward’s Infield Fly Ball was simply edged out by Polska. Better luck next week! Russ will take his 2 point win, thankyouverymuch, and worry about Todd Gurley’s rough game later, while Darren will just worry. And finally, Not Those Guys got a roller coaster with Blair Walsh, but his 16 did help them beat Eric’s team. #faith

Current EL Standings:



In this section, the HFFL league office will highlight a Team of the Week with the HFFLUBTotW award! This is a team that distinguished itself in some way – good or bad!

Week 1’s recipient is…. Dan’s Dazzling Team!

Coming to theaters everywhere in 1990.

Dan’s rookie season got off to a great start as he scored 110 points on Sunday alone with his RBs tied behind his back (or playing Monday, if you’d rather). The Brees/Cooks combination netted him 57 points by themselves! It’s a great way to start his HFFL career! As for the grizzled veteran Ron? Tough loss, old timer.


In this section, I’ll conduct league business and clue you in on any NFL scheduling weirdness you might need to know about.

First of all, the HFFL consists of three separate leagues to keep things interesting, but we’re also kind of one big universe. So, for the stat geeks, we maintain a Superstandings sheet to see how you compare amongst all 36 teams in the HFFL. You can access it via the hiawathafantasyfootball.com site or directly by clicking here.

Second, if you haven’t discovered the Yahoo Fantasy Sports app for your smartphone, you should. Sure, the new design is not as good for viewing a lot of stats at once, but the messenger component is pretty fun and I enjoyed seeing the banter going on in some of the leagues on Sunday!

Third, in case you didn’t notice, there were TONS of injuries in week 1.

Keenan Allen, in particular, tore his ACL on a non-contact play. RG3, Russell Wilson, Demaryius Thomas, Sammy Watkins, the list goes on. The draft is fine, but this is the time when the leagues are really won: in free agency and waivers. How do you whether the injuries!? You go mash those waiver wires and land the next big thing before he hits.

As for NFL scheduling, the Thursday game this week is NY Jets vs. Buffalo Bills. So be ready for that one early.

That’s it, folks. Week 1 is in the books and the season is off to a great start! Good luck in you waiver bids this week! Onward!

Until Next Week,

Commish Peter

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